


Healing Brian

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assault, Healing, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Mental Anguish, Nightmares, Therapy, Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 13:02:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20026270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: Brian gets roughed around by an ex, and has a hard time working through what happened to him. A reveal from his brother has him working towards healing, and something more.





	Healing Brian

Brian looked down at his hands. It had been a few months since he had seen the other guys, and he knew that they would not be happy to see him in his current state. His clothing was torn, he had bruises up and down his body, and he was feeling lightheaded and sick. He had made his way to the office building where they were having their meeting, and he fortunately was the first one there. 

“This meeting is going to go south, the second the other guys walk in” Brian thought, as he winced, shifting positions, his ass sore and red. 

“Hey there is someone in here, let’s see who the early bird is today” Brian heard AJ’s voice float through the door, and he swallowed, knowing his secret, would be coming apart in the next few minutes. 

“Hey D, it’s Brian! Hey B-Rok ..... what the hell happened to you?!” AJ nearly yelled, as he saw Brian fully, when he stepped into the meeting room. Howie flew in right behind him, and Brian watched his jaw drop. 

“Got into a bit of trouble, and got roughed up a bit” Brian admitted in a small voice, as he got up, and limped over to where AJ and Howie were still standing, slack-jawed. 

“What do you mean trouble?” Howie snapped out of his stupor, and met Brian halfway, turning him back around, and easing him back into a chair, pulling it out, so he could take a good look at him. 

“It’s not important. Barely made it here, my ankle is killing me” Brian winced, lifting up his leg, knowing that his ankle wasn’t broken, but just badly bruised and overstretched. It had been broken a few times over the years, so he knew what that was like.

He lifted his jeans, and whimpered seeing the blue and black bruises littering his legs. He knew he should have gotten out of the relationship earlier, but Peter had told him that he wouldn’t be loved by anyone else. 

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Nick came through the door, stopping short at Brian’s appearance, and tears quickly formed in his eyes. 

“Frick.....what happened?” Nick rushed over to Brian, who flinched, before relaxing again. Howie and AJ shared concerned looks, extremely worried about Brian, and knowing that Kevin wouldn’t take this well at all. 

“Like I said to Howie, it’s not important. We need to get this meeting going, where is Kevin?” he rolled his eyes, knowing that his cousin would be the last to show up. 

Like clockwork, Kevin strolled in, and took one look at Brian, his eyes going wide and stormy, and Brian lowered his, knowing that Kevin would get the answer out of him. 

“Brian Thomas Littrell, why do you look like a bruised rag doll right now?” Kevin came over, and looked over Brian, his eyes widening seeing the extent of the bruising and seeing his cousin try and curl in on himself. 

“ Bri -bear, what’s wrong  cuz ? You know I wouldn’t hurt you” Kevin knelt, and his eyes turned worried and frightened, seeing Brian try and curl away from him, and his touch. 

“Peter” Brian whimpered out, and the four’s eyes widened, before darkening, knowing that Peter was the name of Brian’s long-term boyfriend. 

“What happened?” Nick growled out, before calming down, seeing Brian’s whimper at his growl, and he immediately felt like shit. 

“I am so sorry Frick, I didn’t mean to scare you” Nick soothed, and Brian nodded. 

“I caught Peter with another guy, turns out he had been cheating on me for a while. When I caught them, they both beat me up, and left me in the apartment. Got a text from Peter, that he was breaking up with me, and if I told anyone, he would make sure I would live to regret it” Brian admitted, lowering his head, and trying to curl into a ball. 

The four looked at each other, and they all nodded their heads, they would get revenge for Brian, but first they had to focus on him, get him on the road to recovery. 

“What do you want to do Brian? Obviously, the meeting is postponed, you are entirely more important. I know you don’t want to go home” Brian shook when AJ mentioned the word home, and he shook his head violently, and pointed to Nick. 

“Want to go to Nick’s place?” Brian nodded, and reached out for the younger blonde, who immediately and carefully wrapped his arms around the hurt  man.

“I have my car here Howie, can you drive it around to the front, I’ll carry Brian to the car, and we can all go to Nick’s place. It will be a hell of a lot more comfortable than this stuffy office building” Kevin threw his keys to Howie, who nodded, and took off back outside. 

“Can I lift you Brian, I don’t want you walking on that ankle at all” Kevin spoke softly and soothingly, and Brian nodded. Kevin picked him up, and Brian curled into his arms, wincing from the pain a bit. 

“We will be to Nick’s soon, don’t worry” Brian nodded, and listened for his older cousin’s heartbeat, calming down when he heard it, allowing himself to fall asleep. 

The four made their way back downstairs, where Howie had the car ready. AJ opened the backdoor, and Nick got in, and motioned for Kevin to put Brian in his arms. 

“I’ll hold him, and let him listen to my heartbeat, that should keep him calm on the way home” Kevin nodded, realizing that Brian must have walked to the office building. He shook his head, knowing Peter had taken the car with him, when he left with his lover. 

“ Bri , I am giving you to Nick, don’t worry. We will be at his place in fifteen minutes” Kevin soothed, as Brian woke up during the transfer. He sleepily nodded, and listened for Nick’s heartbeat, falling back asleep. 

“Kevin, Howie will drive his car to Nick’s and then I’ll drive him back here to get Nick’s, and the two of us will be there with everyone’s car in half an hour” Kevin nodded, liking AJ’s plan, before getting in his, and making his way to Nick’s. 

Half an hour later, the five were in Nick’s apartment, and Brian had woken up after his catnap. They looked at each other, and Brian, hoping he would talk some more. 

“What happened? I thought you and Peter were okay?” Howie asked, closing his eyes when he saw Brian’s whimper at his ex’s name. 

“Sorry Brian, we will just call him asshole, is that okay?” AJ asked, and sighed when Brian nodded his head. 

“We were, then he started acting odd, staying late at work, not letting me see his phone at all. He would sneak off to answer texts, but I didn’t think anything of it, since we had just come back from tour, and I hadn’t been home long. I went to play some hoops with a friend from grade school that was visiting, and came home to the two in our bed” Brian revealed, holding onto Nick for dear life. 

AJ, Howie, Kevin and Nick looked at each other. They knew where Peter worked, and knew that Brian would never press assault charges against him. Nick shook his head, and leaned down towards Brian, who had started whimpering. He soothingly spoke in his ears, and Brian nodded. 

“ Bri -bear wants to go lay in my bed. I’m going to put him in there, and get ice on his ankle. Howie and AJ, can you just get some water and ibuprofen for him please” Nick saw both nod, and lifted Brian, knowing Kevin was right behind him, if he stumbled under the weight. He carried Brian into his bedroom, laying him on the bed, while Kevin got a pillow for his ankle, and left to get the ice. 

“I want you to take the ibuprofen and then sleep Frick, please” Brian nodded, and thanked Howie and AJ who brought him the pain meds and a bottle of water. 

Nick watched Brian fall asleep, and took a deep breath, knowing he would be dealing with two very angry friends, and a pissed off cousin when he went back into his living room. 

He entered his living room to see the three furiously whispering. He sighed, shaking his head before getting their attention. 

“You three do realize we can’t do a thing. It would look extremely obvious if asshole just disappeared, and you all know Brian won’t press charges against him. We can’t threaten him either, because that will cause a whole other set of issues” Nick watched AJ and Kevin gnash their teeth, realizing the truth to his statement. 

“What the hell are we supposed to do? Let him continue on with his life, while Brian sits here traumatized?” Howie started pacing the floor, trying to work out his anger. 

“There is nothing else we can do, unless Brian opts to press charges” Nick said regretfully, not happy about their limited options either. 

The three snarled, and tried to work through their anger. They angrily whispered to themselves, and AJ joined Howie in pacing. 

“What if we just send a nice letter, telling him to stay away from Brian, and don’t sign it? Will that work?” Kevin asked, wanting revenge for his cousin. 

“No Kevin. They will be able to trace it back here. We can’t do a damn thing, and you three know this” the three sighed, giving up on the idea for revenge. 

“What can we do? I feel so helpless” AJ admitted, and shook his head sadly. 

“Help Brian heal and move on, all we can do” Nick stated, vowing to help the older man through this. 

AJ, Kevin, and Howie sighed, all resolving to help Brian out, get him back on his feet. They knew the asshole probably had mentally abused him, degraded him, told him that it was pointless to tell anyone, that no one would help him. 

They waited until Brian woke up, and hobbled out into the living room. He immediately went to Nick, and curled in his arms, the younger blonde holding him tightly. He looked at his cousin and friends, shaking slightly from the nightmare he had just woken up from. 

“Nightmare, B-Rok?” Kevin asked, and sighed sadly at his cousin’s nod. 

Nick tightened his hold, and started singing one of their old songs to him, feeling Brian calm down in his arms. 

“Do you want to stay here, live with me for a while Brian?” Nick offered, and smiled seeing Brian’s nod, and hopeful eyes looking up at him. 

“ Please.. ” he brokenly asked, and the four closed their eyes, shaking their heads, knowing it would take a long time for Brian to recover. 

“Yes, Brian. You are staying here with me, no questions asked” Nick firmly nodded his head, and Brian sighed in relief. 

The five spent the rest of the day together, Kevin not leaving until he was sure Nick could care for Brian, and told the younger blonde he would be back the next day. 

The four spent the next couple of days trying to convince Brian to press charges, to no avail. He just wanted to forget about what had happened, and move on. He didn’t tell the boys that Peter had come back, without the other man, and threatened his life, if he pressed charges against him. 

Nick continued caring for Brian, and his physical wounds slowly healed, but mentally, he was still struggling. He dealt with nightmares every night, and hardly slept, not wanting to relieve the beating. The four saw the bloodshot eyes, the dark circles, and knew that Brian wasn’t handling any of this well. 

“He needs to talk to someone” Howie harshly told Nick one night, whispering in the kitchen, while Brian was in the living room watching TV. Nick shook his head, as he stirred the sauce for the pasta. 

“He won’t, you know how stubborn he is. I can barely get him to talk to me” Nick sadly spoke, as Howie blew out a breath. 

“We have to do something, or he is going to waste away, get extremely depressed, and may even become suicidal” Howie warned, sighing at Nick’s nod. 

“I know this, do you have any ideas?” Howie scrubbed his eyes, having kept something from all of them, something that happened in his teens, that he never told anyone. 

“I need to talk to him alone” Howie pleaded for Nick to understand, and he nodded his head. 

“Brian, Howie needs to talk to you, I need to run up to AJ’s, get a video game back from him. I’ll be about an hour. Dinner is on the stove, eat when you are hungry” Nick called, getting ready to go out. 

“Okay” Brian spoke tonelessly, staring aimlessly at the television, not really focusing on it, too lost in the memories, and in his head. 

Nick looked at Howie, sighed sadly, and rubbed Brian’s shoulder and left. Howie took the remote, and turned the tv off, which took Brian out of his thoughts, and he looked up at the older man. 

“I need to tell you something Brian, something that no one else knows” Howie looked at Brian, trying to get him to focus on him, and saw Brian’s eyes clear, and he nodded his head. 

“I went through the same thing you are going through, when I was 17, a couple years before we all got together. An ex cheated on me, I caught them, and he beat me up, and threatened me” Brian’s eyes widened, and he shook, while Howie scrubbed his eyes, trying not to cry, the memories he had long buried and healed from, rising up. 

“How did you  heal from it?” Brian whispered, never realizing that Howie had went through the same thing as him, the older man always seeming so happy and carefree. 

“I went to therapy, talked to a counselor, I got help” Howie revealed. 

“Did it help?” Brian’s voice shook, as it got stronger, wanting to know how Howie recovered from such a traumatizing event. 

“Yes, I still occasionally check in with a counselor to this day. It helps so much to talk about it, knowing that talking about it, lets me work through my emotions, showing me that what happened has no power over me, unless I let it” Howie took Brian’s hand, rubbing circles on it. 

“Really?” Howie’s heart broke, as Brian made eye contact with him, for the first time since before the incident. 

“Yes Brian. I can give you the name of my therapist, but she will have to refer you to someone else, and I would trust anyone in her practice. They are all amazing” Howie spoke earnestly, and Brian started to have hope, that maybe he could crawl out of this fog, and hole he had buried himself in. 

“Can....can I have her number please?” Brian asked, and Howie nodded, sending Brian a text with his therapist’s number in it. 

“I am so proud of you, I will take you to your appointments, or I am sure Nick, Kevin, or AJ would as well. This first step is the hardest, but it will get easier, with a lot of time, and sessions. You may start out at three times a week, and then gradually it will ease. It took about a year, for me to go to once a month, and now I just check in if I feel the memories coming back” Howie soothed, and Brian nodded his head. 

“I’m going to call, set up an appointment. Will you come with me?” Brian asked and Howie nodded fiercely.

“Yes, I will” Howie opened his arms, and Brian fell into them. He picked up his phone, and called the therapy center, and made an appointment for the next day. Howie held him in his arms, and Brian fell asleep, finally able to close his eyes, and not have a nightmare for a little bit.

“Did you talk?” Nick asked when he got home, and Howie nodded. 

“He has an appointment with a therapist tomorrow. I told him I would take him. It’s at noon, so I’ll be here at 11” Nick’s eyes widened, wondering what Howie had told Brian, that got him to agree to go to therapy. 

“Okay man, thanks” Howie nodded, and left, knowing he would need to tell the other three tomorrow, finally feeling ready to. 

The next day, Howie picked Brian up, and drove him to the therapy center. Like he expected, Howie’s therapist referred Brian to her colleague, citing a conflict of interest, and Brian nodded. She introduced him to two of them, and Brian clicked with the older female, and set up thrice weekly appointments to start with. He sighed, getting back in the car with Howie, an hour later. 

“I am going to tell the other three, what happened to me. Will you be there for me?” Howie hated asking Brian, but he needed the support. Brian nodded, and held Howie’s hand, squeezing it lovingly. Brian shot Kevin and AJ texts, telling them to get to Nick’s, they immediately responded, saying they would be over in half an hour. 

Forty minutes later, the five were again sitting in Nick’s living room, with AJ, Nick, and Kevin staring at Howie and Brian, who was holding Howie’s hand. 

“First, Brian has started therapy three times a week. We talked yesterday, and I convinced him to try therapy, and we went today, and he found a therapist he clicked with” Howie looked over at the younger man, who swallowed, and looked up at the three, determination back in his eyes. 

“I want to recover and heal from this. Therapy, and talking about it will help” Brian spoke, maintaining eye contact with all of them, for the first time since the incident. The three slowly nodded, and smiled softly, proud of Brian. 

“The reason he started therapy, is because I told him how much it helped me recover from a similar event, when I was 17. What happened to Brian, happened to me” Howie closed his eyes, as he revealed his secret, for only the fourth time since it happened. 

“What?!” Nick, Kevin, and AJ looked at each other, stunned. They never knew, never thought that Howie had ever gone through the same thing that Brian was currently going through. 

“I went through the same thing, went to therapy for over a year, and still occasionally see a therapist, if the memories spike or I get triggered” Howie looked at the other three, not looking for pity. 

“Wow Howie, I admire you so much. I never would have thought that you had gone through that. You are so strong, so brave. Thank you for telling us, we will keep it to ourselves” Kevin spoke, with Nick and AJ nodding their heads. 

Howie nodded softly, and laid his head on Brian’s shoulder, the younger man wrapping his arm around the Latino, and he snuggled in. Brian knew this would be a long difficult journey. 

Brian started therapy, three times a week, and he struggled for a good month, before things eased. He started getting less nightmares, and he leaned heavily on Howie, who was a pillar of strength for him, and Nick, who helped him start to forget, get back to his normal, carefree self. 

Six months later, Brian smiled at his cousin, and best friends. He had recently eased back on therapy to once every two weeks, and he no longer suffered constant nightmares, only one occasionally.

“Brian, how are you doing?” Kevin asked, peering at his cousin, who smiled softly. 

“Feeling good  cuz , I hardly think about it anymore, and I have found a lot of joy in life now. I will forever be thankful for Howie, for helping convince me to try therapy. It has worked wonders, and I don’t recognize who I was six months ago” Brian grinned, and Kevin wrapped his arms around his younger cousin, pride and admiration in his eyes. 

“ So fucking proud of you Brian. It took a lot of guts to do what you did, and I admire you so much for it” Kevin whispered in his cousin’s ear, and Brian shook, and nodded. 

“Thanks Kev” Brian hugged him, before going over to Howie, and giving him a small kiss, laying his head on his shoulder, quietly watching as he talked to AJ about a recent movie they had seen. 

Brian and Howie had been dancing around each other for about two months, before Nick, Kevin, and AJ intervened, and the two realized that their feelings for the other were mutual, and they were slowly dating, just keeping it casual for now, seeing where it went. 

That night, Brian laid in bed, clad in a t-shirt of Howie’s and he thought about the last six months, and he couldn’t believe the journey he had been on. He had been destroyed, built back up, and now was finally starting to feel real love. He leaned his head down, sniffing the t-shirt, taking in Howie’s scent, and he relaxed, closing his eyes, ready for another day of recovery, knowing he would move on completely when he was ready, and not a moment sooner. 


End file.
